NAVIGATE
TOWARDS A
HEALTHIER YOU!

What makes someone/something family? Can something other than a human have a soul? Due to the passing of a beloved dog this past weekend, these are the questions that have been swirling in my head. My fiance Kim's, and her daughter's, dog Pudding Pie passed away. For all intents and purposes, Puddin was not my dog. I did not go to pick her out, I did not name her, she did not live with me. However, the loss I felt, made me question that thought. I loved her and I'd like to think that she loved me. Losing her feels like the loss of a family member, it hurts, it's not fair, and it sucks. I looked forward to seeing her and spending time with her. I loved taking her on walks, playing tug of war with her, seeing her nub of a tail get excited to see me. Puddin had more personality than many people I know...

Oftentimes in life things that we would prefer don't take place, happen that were not due to our own actions, words, decisions, etc. When this happens, it is usually easy for us to recognize not only that there was a fault but who was /is responsible for the said fault. Because of this, especially when we aren't the ones responsible, we often tie fault and responsibility together. After all, one of the definitions of fault is "responsibility for failure or a wrongful act". So it's only logical to assume that if we aren't responsible for the fault, we aren't responsible for the correction. While in certain cases it can be argued whether this is true or not, in the end, the responsibility of correcting (if possible), accepting, or simply moving past the fault is on you, not the individual who created the fault...

How much of your heart/mind is filled with "negative" emotions/thoughts? I have the word negative in quotes because there are times in life when we need these specific emotions/thoughts. For instance, you should feel feat if you were in a car accident or mugged. If you suffered a devastating loss to a loved one, you should go through the various stages of grief. It is in our DNA to feel/think specific ways to survive. What I want to know, what you should be asking yourself and figuring out, is, on a typical day, what percentage of "negative" emotions/thoughts are filling up my heart/mind? Emotions such as guilt, remorse, jealousy, sadness, anger, hatred, fear, loneliness, worthlessness, and anything else that adds to stress or anxiety?...

In this week's discussion, I'd like to discuss the issue with excuses. Before I start, let me just say, I'm not one of those individuals who believe that there is no such thing as a "valid" excuse that, everything comes down to a personal choice/act/etc. There are "valid" excuses in life, unplanned accidents, are "valid" excuses, even those that you could have "planned" for. For example, say that you are headed to work & it takes you 15 minutes with traffic. You leave 25 minutes before your start time. On the way, you get a flat, and then you can't get the lug nuts off because they are too tight, so you have to call AAA and now are waiting for them. You end up being over an hour for work. Could your tardiness have been avoided? Maybe if you left 2 hours prior to your start time. However, that isn't practical, ...

I'm a big believer in self-exploration, in self-knowledge. I enjoy reading/listening to various topics centered around self-help, self-awareness, self-discovery, etc. Lately, there seems to be this common theme centered around the mentality that if you think positive, then positive things will happen. While I completely agree with this, I do think that there is an important aspect that seems to be left out. Negative thinking is not only normal but important. There will no doubt be negative things in your life: some due to your own creation as well as those that you have ZERO control over. Let's face it, without the negative, there could be no positive, hence it would be neutral. While there may be times in your life that a neutral life may sound amazing, life is about the ups and downs, the highs and lows. The key is...

According to Wikipedia, Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action or actions in the future. Intention, however, is not the action, but instead the reason behind the action. Why is this important? The intention is the underlying reason for why one does what they do. For instance, say that there are two individuals who both donate time to the local "soup kitchen". The one individual always posts on social media immediately afterward about their good deed, while the other does not make any claims. Both individuals are doing something positive, but for very different reasons. One wants the acknowledgment and gratitude that comes from outside sources for their "good deed", while the other does not. This "underlying reason" is the intent...

Continuing last week's college visit, I'd like to briefly talk about another discussion I had with my daughters regarding college and one benefit of attending a school that isn't near home. High school seems to run on "social clicks" This was the case when I was in school, and from all that I can tell still is, and I'm sure, to some degree will always be. You seem to be labeled as a Jock, a Band Kid, Drama Kid, etc., and because of those defined titles, you also tend to hang out with the other kids who fall into the duplicate defined tags. First and foremost, nothing is wrong with this; the issue is that sometimes it doesn't allow kids to experience new things, or at least makes it more difficult. Going away to college allows one almost to redefine themselves...

This past weekend, I took my daughters to go look at a university campus that my oldest has some interest in possibly attending next year. Weeks ago, when she mentioned she was interested in the school, she said that she heard it was a party school. I proceeded to explain that the issue with comments like this, is that good schools acquire a bad reputation because of the choices of individual students. Let's get one thing very clear, every school is a "party" school. It doesn't matter the size of the school, the requirements of admission, not the cost of tuition. If you want to find a "party" you can, every night of the week. Now, when I say "party", I don't mean a full campus rager, instead what I am referring to is a half-dozen or so students getting together either on or off-campus...

The hardest word in the human vocabulary to definitively define: LOVE! There are many times in life when something comes up and while it may not be what you had planned, you still feel a need to bring it to the forefront. I was not planning on talking this week about love, however, due to some questions that were brought up, I thought I'd share some interesting points/theories I have. When a child asks a parent what is love, it's almost an impossible question to answer. It's easy to answer if you're currently in love: how you feel, how that person makes you feel, how you feel about that person, etc. To give an absolute definitive definition for what love is for everyone, at every stage of their life, is impossible. We love differently as we age, as we go through experiences, as we change...

My daughters asked me for Christmas this upcoming year if I would take them to a Billie Eilish Concert. So of course when her new album dropped, they wanted to listen to it in preparation for the concert that is still 6 months away. In one of her new songs, Not My Responsibility, she talks about how others judge based on assumptions, There was one section of lyrics that I found particularly important: "We make assumptions about people based on their size. We decide who they are, we decide what they're worth." I'm willing to bet that everyone at one point in their life, mainly because of years of unknowing conditioning, has assumed someone without ever even having a conversation with that person. There's a difference between a first impression, which occurs when we allow an individual to...

I'd like to briefly talk about the 3 Laws that I have repeatedly witness, not just with myself, but with others, when it comes to change. The 1st is Parkinson's Law: "Work expands so as to fill up the time available for its completion." This is the law that basically explains why you can't ever get anything done. The 2nd and most well know of the three, is Murphy's Law: "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong." Lastly, however in my personal opinion the most prolific of the three, is Manson's Law: "The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it." Have you ever notice when trying to make a change personally in your life that requires your time and effort, that something always seems to pop up, sucking up that extra time you thought you would have available to you? Sometimes, ...

Were more than halfway through 2021. Did you have a New Year's Resolution? How are you progressing with it? Was your resolution a transformation of some sort (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional)? If you are struggling with it or have struggled in the past with such resolutions, it's completely normal. This "New You" you're striving to be has a lot of unknowns that scares the "Old/Existing You". The fact you are trying to better yourself or your situation is irrelevant, the fact that it is different and unknown and hence scary is what your brain finds relevant. We as survivors are hardwired to protect ourselves from danger. The issue is that our brain can't distinguish, due to its primal instinct, that bettering ourselves is quite different than true life-threatening danger...

Decades ago when I was a wee lad, my Uncle gave me some advice that to this day I still remember. "Don't ever let anyone borrow anything you expect to get back." There was no explanation, just that phrase. Over the years, I've learned just what he meant. Things get misplaced, lost, and broken. Relationships can sour. Whether we believe it or not, we often have more than what we need in life and it's easy to forget if we returned something or something was returned because it may have been a while since it was used or needed. What I have truly found empowering about this statement is that it applies to so much more than material goods. For instance, feelings. Yes, when you give your love to someone, ideally you want to be loved back...

Success in any aspect of one's life begins with the right mindset. You have to go into any endeavor with a positive outlook, while also being realistic. Understanding that life is fluid and ever-changing as well as that there are plenty of things beyond your control allows you to prepare for the unexpected (prepare as in not be completely blindsided if something occurs). Understanding however is different than expecting. Our overall "attitude" about a situation plays a huge role in how the situation often plays out. When we expect a negative outcome, our actions and choices are steered toward that outcome on a subconscious level. The same is true for the reverse, if we expect a positive outcome, our actions and choices are steered toward that outcome...

Last week I talked about procrastination and why it can be hard to get started with a new habit/task/goal/etc. This week I'm going to delve just a little bit deeper. We very rarely just blindly jump into something without some sort of thought process. We may decide to do some research to help us better understand what to expect, what to do, how to accomplish, how to be successful, etc. We may formulate a plan of attack, allocate time, etc. This part of the process of change is called the Motion Phase. The Motion Phase is an important part of the process, however, it is easy to get stuck in this phase, which isn't the phase where results occur. Motion allows us to feel like we are making progress by tricking our mind that we are working toward our end goal...

How many times in your life have you put something off, saying I'll start tomorrow, I'll start Monday, I'll start after the holiday, etc; then that "date/time" where you told yourself you'd start comes and you don't? Maybe you convince yourself you just don't have time, or maybe you're afraid that you won't be perfect or even know how to "start"? I've been there, everyone has. Humans are masters of procrastination and excuses. That approaching deadline triggers our fight or flight response. While we may choose one response more, no one is 100% all fight or all flight. Sometimes, before reacting (especially to that inner voice), we need to take a second and breath and look at the facts. How important is this? Is it more important than other commitments...

I'm sure you, or someone you know, at this point in the evolution of technology, has used GPS direction. Whether it was built into your car, built into your phone, or another piece of equipment. They all basically do the same thing: calculate the quickest, easiest, cheapest way to get from point a to point b. Some have extra features, such as most scenic or windiest (awesome option if you have a motorcycle). They all do an excellent job, that is until something it did not calculate occurs (yes many get live statistics to attempt and avoid, however, it's often too late). I'm sure you've come across at least one of these scenarios: as an accident ahead, road construction, a house being moved taking up both lanes of a two-lane road...

As a boy growing up it was an unwritten rule that you don't show emotions (boys don't cry). You didn't question it, you just accepted it. However, it seems as of late, and I blame Social Media for a lot of it, girls are afraid to show emotion. Arguing whether or not this is right or wrong, healthy or not is a discussion for another time. Instead, I'd like to talk about using emotion to enhance your workouts. I started working out for physical health reasons. While that is still the case, it is also for mental health (controlling/managing anxiety/stress/emotions). I'm still not one to show my emotions, however, I have learned that instead of ignoring them and writing them off to use them for fuel. Emotions can be extremely powerful..

If you want to have an overall healthy life, the truth of the matter is, you need to exercise. This doesn't mean you have to suffer through excessively long and draining workouts (unless of course, it is in line with your goals). To just be relatively healthy and to feel energized, the amount of exercise required is probably smaller than you think. So then, how much exercise is "enough"? According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the smallest amount to get the maximum benefits: “...adults aged 18–64 should do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity throughout the week or do at least 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity throughout the week or an equivalent combination of moderate - and...

I'm sure you've come across an article, news story, or just have heard the importance of taking a mental health day. The problem is, who has time? Or at least that is what so many of us tell ourselves. The majority of us are bad with sick days (not too many of us take one unless we have to) and are worse when it comes to a mental health day. We have this mentality ingrained that we need to just keep pushing forward because it is what everyone does. However, just like a sick day (getting physically sick is often our body's way of saying I need to recover) is critical to recovery, so is a mental health day. Start thinking of mental health days as a regular tune-up, just like sleep, or rest between workouts.,,

Anger overshadows everything and one of the best analogies is the Anger Iceberg, where the anger emotion is the visible tip above the water, covering up and hiding the harder to express and accept emotions such as sadness, fear, and resentment. Anger, hence, is only part of the story. We all get angry, some faster than others, some more intense than others. Regardless of the how and why the underlying reason is a perceived threat. This threat, which is usually viewed as unjust or unfair, triggers the fight-or-flight response, and subconsciously, anger seems to be the safe response to the situation. Depending on the situation anger can also feel empowering (which feels good)...

Rest is crucial to a healthy and productive life. Sleep and rest are not the same thing, even though they are synonymously tied together. If you need proof, have you ever had a few nights of really deep sleep however still feel exhausted? Just because we may have gotten enough sleep, doesn't mean we are well-rested. There are many different types of rest and some of these types have sub-types. Physical rest, which can be broken down into passive or active, consists of sleeping and napping (physical) as well as active (yoga, light nature walks, massage therapy, stretching, etc). If it is an activity that improves circulation and flexibility without being demanding, it is active rest...

Way to go, idiot. I can't do anything right. I suck. I'm hopeless. Who hasn't had those thoughts or even said them out loud after losing their temper, making someone cry, botching a simple task, or just making a mistake? Self-deprecating thoughts about how much you suck at the current task or moment may seem like an appropriate penance for your mistakes but this type of thinking is harmful not only to you but also to your relationships, your goals, and hence your future. Unchecked shame-based self-talk can increase stress levels, resulting in anxiety and depression, and may trigger a self-fulfilling prophecy. We all screw up. But talking down to yourself isn’t the answer...

The power of imagery is amazing. By visualizing what it is you want to accomplish, what you want to succeed, you can actually create a future memory that you can tap into just like you do for true memories that have happened in the past. Think about how many times in your life you've gone back to your memories to remind you that you've done xyz before or that if you could do z, then you could definitely do y. Memories help guide us. The tricky part of creating this future imagery for visualization is your limiting belief. As an example, say that you want to run a marathon. You visualize you crossing the finish line, and it is as clear as day, however, say also that you've never run a 5K. Your mind will actually put a halt to the visualization process because...

The Johari Window Model states that when it comes to awareness and self, there are four separate perspectives of self, the "Public Self", the "Private Self", the "Blind Self", and the "Unconscious Self". The private self is what you knowingly know and choose to keep private. At some point in everyone's life they will find out something about themselves that they chose to keep to themselves, is private self, once shared, however, it then is public self. The public self is what you know about yourself and are willing to make public. While it is certainly what you are willing to share with everyone/anyone, it is also what you are willing to share with a select trusted few...

In the last few weeks, I've talked about self-awareness, self-acceptance, and emotional intelligence. It seems only proper to finish this mini-segment with self-care. Self-care is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and for others. It's unfortunately is one of the easiest things to ignore. Anyone who is a parent, a child with an elderly parent who needs their care, someone who has someone important in their life going through something difficult, and/or someone who works in a help/care environment knows how easy it is to get so involved in the care of those other areas that you lose sight of caring for yourself. Self-care is a significant element in stress management...

What is emotional intelligence? How does it relate to self-awareness? Is it necessary for self-care? According to Oxford Languages, emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and sympathetically. It is one's ability to understand, evaluate, control, and express their own emotions while also understanding the emotions of others. It is both being self-aware of one's own individual emotions while simultaneously being mindful of others emotions. It is a skill that allows one to deal with their own emotions as well as the emotions of others, both of which are integral to stress management...

What happens when one finds self-awareness? Is that the end of self-discovery, the end of self-improvement? Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses (self-awareness) unfortunately does not necessarily allow you to accept such awareness or the feelings of satisfaction or despair with your newfound awareness. Self-acceptance is what many feel follows self-awareness, mainly because until you truly are aware of who you are, how can you accept who you are? We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses, and what many feel is a strength or weakness, may in fact be the opposite of what we think, because it is the narrative we created in our mind either out of want or need...

Last week I asked if awareness could be learned and talked about being more aware of your surroundings. This week, it only makes sense, to talk about self-awareness. Self-awareness is often confused with consciousness. Consciousness is being aware of one's environment, body, and lifestyle. Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your own character, values, feelings, strengths/weaknesses, motives, desires, and impact on others. In a nutshell, self-awareness is the reason why your acting, saying, thinking the way you are, it is what drives you, behind the scenes. Self-awareness has two broad categories...

Can awareness be learned? I know that sounds like a strange question, but if you're an individual who may not pay attention to what is happening around them, it's a valid question. Even if you aren't this type of individual, I'm sure you know someone, most likely a male, who seems like their always clueless when it comes to noticing things. It can be small things, not noticing a haircut, or larger things, like not noticing someone dyed their hair a completely different color (I'm sticking with the probably a male scenario). This lack of awareness can be for many reasons, the individual could just be a wandering thinker, a multitude of thoughts always going on at once, and hence a difficulty in focusing...

No matter what it is in life you want to change, consistency will be key. If you want to strive for better health, you'll need to be consistent in whatever aspect you deem to be better health. If it is strength, you'll need to be consistent with some sort of strength training. If it is endurance, you'll need to be consistent with what you deem to be endurance (for some, it may simply be the ability to not become tired after playing with their grandchildren where for others it may be the ability to run long distances). Flexibility, mental health, diet, and so forth: consistency is key. Consistency isn't just for health and wellness, it's for all aspects of life...

Priorities are things, ideas, ideals, that we deem to be of a higher level of importance. They are in essence what matters to us. It's typically things such as family, health, and/or happiness. It may be other things like our career, wealth, and/or status. Priorities can and do change throughout our lifetime. After school, your career may be your priority, however after you start a family, your priority will most likely change. Priorities guide us. It's not only essential to know what our priorities are, it's crucial. Knowing what our priorities truly are, which unfortunately may not be what we want or think they are...

In my experience, confidence comes from two primary sources, external and internal. External confidence is obtained from the "praise" of others. It can be a quick boost for anyone, no matter how confident they are. Simple kind words that accentuate an individual's strengths are powerful and we all need to be better at boosting our fellow human beings confidence. The issue with external confidence, especially if it is the primary source of confidence, is that just as easily as the confidence can be gained, it can be lost. Internal confidence, on the other hand, is confidence that the individual earned...

If you go to Merriam-Webster you'll see, Hoarding is marked by an overwhelming desire to collect items and an inability to discard things that may seem useless, to such a point that the collections cause stress and start impacting a person's health, career or relationships. - Erin Allday". We are all to some degree guilty of mental hoarding. Some mental hoarding is valid and healthy, just because I have a memory or some piece of knowledge that most people would consider useless, to me it may be priceless or critical. The unhealthy hoarding arises when we can't let go of that which ails us...

Have you ever walked into an office and thought, and maybe even said out loud "how do you get anything done with all this clutter"? Clutter, if you've ever seen it has no rhyme or reason to it, even though the person responsible for the clutter may say, "I know where everything is". Physical clutter is easy to spot, in fact, it's hard to miss. Mental clutter, which is far more common, is much more difficult to recognize. At one point in everyone's life, whether they realized it or not, you've experienced mental clutter. If you've had difficulty focusing, prioritizing, or balancing all the many important aspects of your life...

Feed your focus, starve your distractions. Distractions are tempting, they give us a small sense of accomplishment. Sometimes they're unavoidable, such as interruptions, or a wandering mind (which we all have). If it's a distraction that is crucial and has to be handled immediately, then handle it. If it isn't, which most distractions aren't, acknowledge the distraction, jot it down and say "I will get back to you/this" when I'm finished, and then continue with the current task at hand. We all have many tasks we need to complete. Prioritize the tasks, create a list, create multiple lists: daily, weekly, monthly, yearly...

Want to make a change in your life? Start with changing an existing, or creating a new habit. Habits take focus. If you want a habit to succeed, break it down into smaller habits first with easily obtainable wins. For instance, if you want to drink eight cups of water a day, and you typically drink less than two glasses, then you may be setting yourself up for failure. In our heads, six extra glasses doesn't sound like much, and hence sounds completely attainable. However, six extra glasses of water a day is no small feat. If we set our aspirations too high, we begin to become frustrated because we have no wins...

Last week the National Championship Game was played. As an OSU fan, it was difficult to watch, and after three quarters I had enough. There are two takeaways however that I feel apply to life in general. The first being that when we set goals, and we reach those goals, we should follow through till the end. Jaylen Waddle, who started the year as Alabama's #1 receiver, broke his ankle on October 24th. After it happened, he set a very difficult goal of playing in the National Championship game. The National Championship Game came, and he was cleared to play, even though it was obvious, he wasn't even close to 100%...

2020 was a year like no other. From a global perspective, it's hard to find a year with as much consistent turmoil. How many were afraid to turn on the news to find out what has now occurred. Pandemic, fires, floods, hurricanes/typhoons, insects, protests, riots, cyberattacks, and a Noble Peace Prize winner who ordered the military to suppress an insurrection, leading to the shooting at and detainment of United Nation Staffers. This is just a snippet of what happened in the World, it doesn't include anything that happened in your personal life. 2021 was going to be better, it had to be, then last week happened...